yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
