Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
