I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
