so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
