The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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