you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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