Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
