I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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