Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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