I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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