Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
