PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
