Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize