If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
