He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
