You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
