since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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