i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
