Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
