he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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