I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
