I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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