Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize