I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
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There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
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My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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