i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize