we have officially mastered the walk of shame
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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