I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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