life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
