Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
