So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Don't say a word.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT