NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
