mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Don't make out with my wife yet
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
