it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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