the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
