She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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