You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
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He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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