Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
