I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
