I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
