Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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