I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
