it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
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Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
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I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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