I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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