Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
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considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
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He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.