Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week