Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college

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  (810): Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college http://tfl.nu/gnu1
  Replies (17) Good night (1747) Bad night (494) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(

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  (775): Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :( http://tfl.nu/vkw0
  Replies (3) Good night (548) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it

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  (978): Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it http://tfl.nu/f2y4
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  (458): View more from Oregon

  So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...

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  (458): So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins... http://tfl.nu/wa72
  Replies (53) Good night (1102) Bad night (5779)
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  (585): View more from New York

  It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.

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  (585): It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight. http://tfl.nu/zyt9
  Replies (10) Good night (3282) Bad night (770) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"

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  (443): The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts" http://tfl.nu/th5a
  Replies (37) Good night (1432) Bad night (6776) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/

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  (507): your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/ http://tfl.nu/cbt7
  Replies (52) Good night (1027) Bad night (6002) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions

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  (757): Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions http://tfl.nu/0uvp
  Replies (6) Good night (3295) Bad night (868) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born

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  (714): I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born http://tfl.nu/tmja
  Replies (13) Good night (2890) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.

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  (705): I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon. http://tfl.nu/humv
  Replies (10) Good night (3988) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."

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  (401): Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it." http://tfl.nu/3dma
  Replies (5) Good night (1737) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????

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  (207): Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport???? http://tfl.nu/yffg
  Replies (11) Good night (752) Bad night (3157)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.

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  (651): You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out. http://tfl.nu/2o8m
  Replies (5) Good night (2029) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum

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  (610): i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain (215): replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum http://tfl.nu/e0rs
  Replies (2) Good night (1355) Bad night (399)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.

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  (605): I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with. http://tfl.nu/3qb7
  Replies (5) Good night (623) Bad night (259) Order T-Shirt

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