Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
