Plan B is the new Plan A
just come out here and I will go home with you...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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