i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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