oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.