There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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