Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
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she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
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This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.