I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now