Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.

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  (919): I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx. http://tfl.nu/hq1e
  Replies (187) Good night (3937) Bad night (1806)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!

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  (816): Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?! http://tfl.nu/dodw
  Replies (15) Good night (955) Bad night (6933) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone

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  (480): i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone http://tfl.nu/s959
  Replies (12) Good night (5941) Bad night (1189) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.

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  (516): the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother. http://tfl.nu/cizt
  Replies (24) Good night (1208) Bad night (7073) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"

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  (608): the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair" http://tfl.nu/0q2o
  Replies (13) Good night (935) Bad night (3892) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.

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  (613): New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would. http://tfl.nu/oc0p
  Replies (3) Good night (1709) Bad night (583) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  There are so many Jimmy John's employees here

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Where are you?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Jimmy John's.

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  (512): There are so many Jimmy John's employees here (1-512): Where are you? (512): Jimmy John's. http://tfl.nu/2l3c
  Replies (10) Good night (5581) Bad night (656)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song

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  (+44): He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song http://tfl.nu/ouwi
  Replies (4) Good night (1595) Bad night (365) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.

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  (865): She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise. http://tfl.nu/2xsu
  Replies (10) Good night (591) Bad night (1261)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.

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  (417): I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer. http://tfl.nu/udvx
  Replies (3) Good night (970) Bad night (312) Order T-Shirt
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  (457): View more from

  Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though

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  (457): Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though http://tfl.nu/vzyv
  Replies (8) Good night (1120) Bad night (367) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.

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  (330): If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat. http://tfl.nu/hgzf
  Replies (5) Good night (336) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...

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  (262): I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf... http://tfl.nu/zbk2
  Replies (4) Good night (320) Bad night (1288) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?

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  (312): he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent? http://tfl.nu/n82j
  Replies (7) Good night (266) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven

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  (+44): The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven http://tfl.nu/nqqz
  Replies (11) Good night (698) Bad night (356) Order T-Shirt

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