Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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