She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
