saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
