what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
