i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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