Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
