I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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