You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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