Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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